I am high-key OBSESSED with everything Utah!! And though I’ve never watched a Real Housewives franchise before, my eyebrows raised with intrigue when they announced the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (RHOSLC)! They marketed it as America’s “Most Mysterious State” hidden amongst the mountains with “darkness brewing under the crust of perfection.” I mean, come on – you can’t say that doesn’t fascinate you just a little bit!!

Their rookie season has just wrapped up with a THREE part reunion (that’s how juicy the show is). And as I currently type this while sipping on my 44 oz Diet Coke easy ice with lemon, I thought I MUST share my two cents on some of this season’s storylines. To determine if Jen REALLY smelled like hospital is v important 😉 If you watch the show, let me know your thoughts!!!

If you don’t watch the show, feel free to skip this week’s blog post and see you next Sunday!!

My Housewives Ranking

Let’s start with my biases to baseline.

Jen Shah

I love Jen – is she the craziest? Clearly. But also I think she is the realest, so hilarious, the most relatable, and it’s 100% a fact there would be NO SHOW without Jen Shah. Despite the chip on her shoulder that she needs to work on, I think she has the purest intent and I respect her for being so vulnerable and raising awareness about mental health issues. She really is the MVP of the show. You can tell a lot about a person based on their marriage/husband and we can all agree that Coach Shah (her husband) might be one of the coolest people ever so I think that adds a lot of credibility to her character as a person.

Lisa Barlow

At first I thought Lisa was a little boring (in her first scene you just see her waking up her kids and dressing her dog to go on a walk) but she really grew on me! Like Meredith, she’s very level-headed but I think she’s more open and I really appreciate that. And I love how she is a straight shooter – she is quick to love everyone but also quick to call people out on their BS – she did her #HOMEWORK for the reunion. Shut it down, girl!

Meredith Marks

I’ve liked Meredith from the beginning. I think she is extremely rational and fair – both her EQ and IQ are really admirable – and she carries herself very well. She’s so sophisticated and mature – she inspires me!! However, I also agree with Jen that she may have tried extra hard to portray herself in a certain way to maintain a particular image for her brand (she’s a celebrity jeweler).

Heather Gay

My other fav is Heather – she is hands down the funniest and I love how authentic she is. She is just one of those smooth/charismatic gems who is naturally very likable, with ICONIC one-liners (“I look like a flapper with cankles”). Even RIHANNA followed her and DM’d her. I’d like her more if she didn’t back Whitney so much because I am NOT a fan of Whitney LOL.

Mary Cosby

Mary is one of those people who says and does such ridiculous things…that on the occasion when she says something that actually makes sense, it stands out to you and makes you side with her for that quick second LOL. However, though we cannot 100% verify, there is a LOT of evidence that she and her husband (who is btw, her grandfather) have lied about a lot of things, are doing some really sketchy ish, and they treat their church members very questionably…I don’t see it ending well for them (like I think IRS will come for them).

Whitney Rose

Whitney is HOT, there’s no denying. And I really feel for her strained relationship with her father – I know it must be so hard to go through and I really respect her for sticking by his side and doing her best to help him. But besides that, I think she is fake / plays dumb a lot and I don’t think she brings much to the table/show >.>

My Headliner

Did Jen Actually Smell Like Hospital?

Mary knew what Jen was going through and I think Mary 100% knowingly made the unnecessary comment as a dig on Jen. Even after Jen nicely went up to Mary to address it, Mary was still very insensitive.

But I guess the real question is…does anyone agree with Mary that Jen’s Aunt just needed to drink more water in order to have prevented getting her legs amputated? xD

Did Brooks See Jen’s Hoohah?

Bro – there’s no way Brooks saw Jen’s Hoohah LOL – she literally said she wasn’t going to do high kicks because she didn’t want anyone to see, so she got up and moved and turned her body away so no one would see.

Secondly, we all know Brooks wants so badly to be a housewife and his “gap year” was because he wanted to stay home so he could have his moment on TV. I think the real reason he was mad at Jen was because she said Grindr (not sure why she was chanting Grindr was doing high kicks though?) – but I think it’s pretty silly that he was blaming everything on the high kicks and that he tried to use his sister as the excuse to get his Mom to get Jen to leave.

Not mad at Meredith though for defending her son – she’s his Mom. But I think even she would admit her son is being a little ridiculous. And yes, one tracksuit does NOT make a collection x)

Is Meredith’s Marriage Off The Table?

Meredith has EVERY right to be upset with people talking about her marriage, but also…I think every housewife’s relationship is kind of fair game when they come onto the show and they should expect their relationship to be talked about lol. And if she’s going to be so mad at Jen, why isn’t she mad at Whitney??? She was also spreading the gossip about the marriage!!

Are Meredith and Lisa Scared Of Jen?

This was such a sh*t show. Whitney is such a pot stirrer but then loooooves to act all innocent and displace accountability. I think it is ridiculous how much of the blame Whitney is trying to put onto Heather – and I think it is even crazier that Heather is letting Whitney blame her!! I guess Heather is taking one for the team to take some of the heat off of Whitney.

But like WHY was Whitney so excited to tell Jen that Mary said…that Meredith and Lisa said…that they’re scared of Jen??! Like she was so excited to find out and goes around asking EVERYONE (besides Meredith and Lisa LOL) about how she should tell Jen – and she tries to frame it as if she’s being a good friend to Jen…??? I really don’t see any positive intent. And she keeps trying to make herself look good by saying she admits she had bad timing and that she’s working on improving her timing…but like, timing is so irrelevant. There’s sooo many things wrong with what she did, aside from timing.

Does Lisa Even Know Heather???

It was lowkey shady that Lisa would say that about Heather. But also I think Heather is taking it REALLY personally lol and as a result she nitpicks Lisa’s every single action/inaction as Lisa being dismissive of Heather to make her look like the bad guy. Like Heather, it’s not always all about you!

Alright LOL that was fun. This was all in light spirits – I think each person on the show has positives/negatives- but it’s fun to dissect the ridiculousness! Sorry I did not provide much context (you’ll have to just watch the show!!).

I cannot wait for Season 2 and you heard it here, this show will be even HUGER as I foresee them bringing on some of the famous Mormon influencers.

Ok! See you all next Sunday, love you!

xo,
Em