A ring is a huge investment – both financially and long-term – but how much should you spend?

I had started writing a blog post on tips for engagement ring shopping when I realized the costs portion was getting so long that it deserves it’s own post – I didn’t realize I was so passionate about this topic lol.

Let me just start off with saying that I was somebody who had never planned on getting an actual ring for myself. I was totally fine with the idea of not having a ring and instead saving that money. MP, however, proposed to me with an actual engagement ring (completely surprising me) and was adamant I have one! (Btw, I’m very happy now with our decision to get one ^-^)

While a proposal is a “spontaneous” and “romantic” gesture, it’s not something to take lightly. It’s a huge financial decision that you and your partner need to make together. Exactly how much you spend is very personal to you/your partner’s financial situation, so here are some things to consider when determining your budget:

1. Ring or no ring. Firstly, do you even want an engagement ring at all? For some people, an engagement ring is an extremely important value to them while for others it’s not a desire whatsoever. Maybe something else is more important to your relationship than a ring! Think about this before investing substantial money into a ring she does or does not care for.
   
2. Be Financially Responsible. A proposal is the start of your lifelong relationship. Don’t start it off with irresponsible financial that is going to put your new relationship into a bunch of debt. Your ring budget should be dependent on you & your partner’s specific financial circumstances. This will look different for everybody because we are in our own different stages of life and facing a unique set of cards! Don’t let societal norms pressure you into spending above your means.
   
3. Budget For The Ring. Since the ring was a surprise and I had never planned on getting a ring, I had never accounted for it in our budget (technically, it was from MP’s wallet but I’ve always consider his/my money “our” money lol), but it’s a huge cost! Plan for it and save for it like you would any other large expense (i.e. a car).
   
4. It’s Not The Only Ring. In addition to the engagement ring, don’t forget there are other rings to budget for in the future such as your wedding ring band and his wedding ring band!
   
5. A Starter Ring. While an engagement is a lifelong commitment, the rock itself doesn’t necessarily have to be. Especially if you’re getting engaged at a younger age, your current financial means may mean you get a more modest starter ring for now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t potentially upgrade your ring in the future!
   
6. Insurance. A cost I feel like people never mention is the friggin’ insurance for your ring which you will have to pay for every month/year for the rest of your life!
   
7. Two Months. This is very likely just an outdated marketing tool, but for what it’s worth there is an industry guideline that the engagement ring should be about “two months” of the proposer’s salary. Take it with a grain of salt.
   
8. Ask Around. This might be bad advice…but I think asking around is really helpful for reference points when determining your own engagement ring budget. There are also online reddit threads with tons more data points, which helps re-emphasize that there is a huge spectrum of spending but also that pricepoints for diamonds are all over the place!
   
   I didn’t read the threads until after I got my ring, but I felt validated when I did because a lot of people spent a lot more money on a diamond with worse specs!
   
9. Align With Your Future Fiance. When I told a coworker the price of the ring MP first proposed to me with, she said she would divorce her fiance before they even got married lol. While I’d like to think both parties are already well-aligned in terms of financial values before the proposal lol, it’s understandable that there may be differences in perspectives when it comes to a ring budget in particular and so compromising is key. I was even open to paying more of my own money if I meant I could get the exact ring I wanted without hurting MP’s wallet (though MP ended up footing the whole bill!).
   
10. Don’t Be Cheap. With all that said…don’t be cheap. After all, the ring is the hallmark start of your relationship so there should be a lot of thought and heart behind it. Cheap however, is relative. Some couples love being thrify and frugal together, so maybe you both love the idea of an affordable gemstone that you found at a thrift store. Others may understandbly not be so okay with it.

& now, the burning question, just how much was my engagement ring? My ring certainly wasn’t cheap, but I’d like to say it was an appropriate amount considering it’s a lifelong investment! Actually, we ended up exchanging MP’s original proposal ring for a different ring that was almost double the price lol but I LOVE my ring!

If you want to the exact # that we spent on the ring, you can support me here by commenting “RING 💍” and I’ll send you the exact pricepoint we landed on! I’m more than happy to share the $ amount as I know it can be helpful to others, but I hope this is okay as it’s a little personal to be blasting on the internet!

Of course, at the end of the day, it’s not about how much money you spend on your ring but about how much love is behind your relationship together!!!

Thanks for reading~

Xo,
Em